A Leap of Faith

Today I did something that took a lot of faith and courage. I woke up, got my cute little boy ready and we drove to the Edward Greer Education building on Flamingo. I made the final markings on my five-plicate (I'm aware this is not a word, I made it up!) and handed them in. Effective at the end of the day on 12/5, I am no longer licensed personnel/5th grade teacher for the Clark County School District. Phew! It was an interesting experience. A bit anticlimactic. You give all these years of service, turn in the paperwork, and it's done. No, "thank you for your service". No pats on the back. I wasn't really expecting anything per se, but it made me think. It was so easy to do. I was talking to a friend about the days events and he asked me how I felt. I told him and he said, "Well, then you know you did the right thing". Truthfully, I have felt so much peace and calmness. I woke up with those feelings this morning. Peace and calm have also been with me over the last several weeks as we have weighed our options when my maternity leave ended. Steve and I prayed many times about this; about if it was the right thing for me to do. This morning was no different. Before he left for work we prayed and I said my own prayer before I left the house. My journey for the district began in January 2004 as a student teacher for BYU-I. The "fire in my belly" was strong for about 5-6 years and then it became taxing. The newness and drive began to diminish. Now don't mistake me. I have never been a lazy person. I have been devoted and committed to my career for almost 10 years. So, what changed? That's kind of a loaded question. I'll answer it briefly, 1) In my opinion, American education has been on a downward slope for years and teachers (who have never been more qualified and hard working) are being asked to make something out of nothing and 2)Lifes priorities began to change. So why did I do it? I have been holding on to my job for years for my health benefits. For the money. It's simply not worth it anymore. A colleague posted this thought inspiring video the other day. It beautifully summarizes a lot of my feelings. Want to know what is worth it? This sweet baby boy. God has given me a gift, a miracle. He might be my only child. So, why would I work so hard and wait so long, for so many years just to pay someone else to raise my child? It will all work out. This is a hard statement for someone like me to make. Those of you who know me know that I have a Type A personality, OCD, and I love to plan for EVERYTHING and have a backup for plans A, B and C. We have made plans, we're using our head and our brains, but we're also relying on faith. On God. I'm grateful to have felt the peace that Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost have brought to my life. He loves our family and knows all of us individually. 1 Peter 5:7, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you". A friend who resigned last year to be a stay at mom gave me some wisdom that has stuck with me. She told me to look at the larger picture. This is a BIG decision, but the impact that it carries will be far more significant than the things I might be "losing". Perspective. It means everything. We welcome your thoughts of inspiration or advice as we take off on this new adventure. I'm grateful for a husband that WANTS me to stay home with our baby and will work hard to support our little family. I'm grateful for my years of teaching and what it has taught me. But it is time for me to be a mother to my sweet boy. I'll return to the teaching profession someday. Now its time to be taught life's lessons from my sweet angel boy. My miracle. Asa. God's gift to me.